Deshawn Snow Peaces Out of Real Housewives of Atlanta. Time to Downsize.

Seriously, I think I hit "tilt" on my Photoshopping skills. Anyfoundation, Deshawn Snow of Real Housewives of Atlanta "fame" will not be appearing in the next season of the show. Apparently, the producers don't think that Deshawn is as trashtastic as the rest of the cast. That was the nice way to say it. I think unless Deshawn sported a Barbie "landing strip" wig and wrote a follow up to Kim's "Tightrope" song there really wasn't much more that she could do for the show.

According to Essence Magazine (which was always on display in the Huxtable residents), Deshawn was just given the crappy news by producers just the other day even though they already talked to her about Season 2 in late December. Check out an expert below:

ESSENCE.COM: What reason did they give for not inviting you back for the second season?SNOW: [One of the producers] called and said that I was "too human for a circus show" and that because the show did so well, they are about to pump up the drama and they didn't think that I would fit in. He gave me an example, saying that during the reunion when I found out what a few of the other ladies said about me, they were expecting me to say more, but I'm not the type to go "television" and start acting crazy because somebody's talking about me. I'm fine with the decision. It wasn't my decision. They let me go and there are no hard feelings. I am thankful for the opportunity.

Looks like Deshawn will have a little extra time to throw her brilliant charity events and hire her house manager.

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Drunk Gretchen from Real Housewives of the OC Makes Me Want to Actually Watch The Real Housewives of the OC. Score!

Like many of you, IBBB reader and friend - Debil Dog, has asked me numerous times to watch The Real Housewives of Orange County. She was adiment about me watching last nights episode so I Tivo'd Nip/Tuck and tuned in for the drunken debacle that was RHoOC.

First off, watching Tamra go to etiquette class is like watching Britney Spears trying hard not to say "y'all." She'll never quite get there. After completing her class, Tamra decided to throw a fancy dinner with some random chef for the whole cast. This consisted of food and a ton of alcohol. Sadly, I was without alcohol so I could barely make it through this crapisode. That was until Gretchen started to get shit-tanked.

Look, Gretchen is hot. I know it. You know it. Everyone knows it. I just wish she looked more like she was 30 and not so much like 40 and like one of "Barker's Babes" from "The Prices is Right." Let's take a journy out of the 90's and head on in to 2009.

With all that said, Gretchen totally made this episode. She got drunk. And when I say "drunk" I really mean "one tequila shot away from getting her stomach pumped." I love when reality show people get real drunk and not faux-drunk. Gretchen was slurring her words, grabbing her boobs, lifting up her dress, and flirting with Tamra's creeptastic son, Ryan, who looks like he's ready to become a professional diddler. My favorite part, of course, was when Gretchen started to yell out "Tamraaaaaaaaaaa TamRaaaaaaaaa." Pure brilliance. You know the part.

I was a little disappointed at how extra d-baggy Tamra and Vicki were for making sure Gretchen hit the "4th sheet to the wind." She was fun at 3-sheets, but got a little sloppy at 4-sheets. I figured it was just because Tamra is white-trash, so getting other people hammered is like an Olympic event for her and Vicki is dead inside, so this helped bring her back to life.

The episode ended with Gretchen (who's engaged to some dude who is in the hospital with cancer) leaving the main party and heading into the bathroom with Tamra's son. At first you can hear Gretchen telling Ryan that he can't kiss her or hug her because she's "with a great guy" already, but then she says that "he's really turning her on." Then they cut to ....."to be continued." Damn it all to hell, now I'm going to need to watch next week. Either way, Gretchen's hot. Sometimes hotness makes you cheat on people. Sometimes those people are dying in the hospital. Sometimes that happens. And "Ryan" is going to look like even more of a tool if this did happen because he tried to hook up with a drunk chick (which is normally fine) whose fiance is dying in the hospital. Way to go, dude.

Oh, by the way Lynne and her husband were there, but no one seemed to care.

What did you craptastic readers think of this crapisode? Do you think Gretchen went down for a little sucky sucky or do you think it's just crafty editing?

Get caught up on all things Real Housewives of Orange County over at the new IBBB!

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Oprah Tries to Fix the Real Housewives of Orange County

Put a cork in your spray tan gun because Oprah's giving away makeoverrrrrrrrs! Everybody gets a makeover. You get a makeover and you get a makeover and you get a makeover and you get a makeover. Everybody gets a makeooovvvverrrrrrr! Ok I'm done.

Blessed Mother Oprah Winfrey decided that the chicks from Real Housewives of Orange County not only needed a complete makeover, but they also needed to be hosed off and left to dry hanging on a clothesline. The crew from Oprahland chiseled off six layers of makeup, placed their racks in the witness protection program, and taught the women that there are other hair color options besides "white." Betty White, that is.

I think the makeovers make them all look 15 years older, although it was nice to get them out of the mid 90's. Jeana (last photo) looks good and thin too! I wonder if they used that camera that Paula Abdul used in her "Promise of a New Day" video?

P.S --> Tamra looks like Elise Keaton from "Family Ties."

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She By Sheree Ain't Got No Skillz, Y'all!

Everybodies favorite fab-uh-lous Real Housewife of Atlanta who loves to date famous ath-uh-letes is appealing her divorce settlement so she can, in fact, get her hands on a 7 fig-uh deal!

According to AccessAtlanta.com Sheree Whitfield has been painted, by her lawyers, as a "high school graduate with limited skills to earn income." Therefore, she'll need her 7 fig-uh settlement. I agree with the lawyers. Although she does put on a killer fashion show without any fashions (how dreadful).

Sheree heads back to court on Jan 12th to see if she can get her mitts on some extra cash money. You know NeNe is ready to write a drunken song about Sheree and her divorce settlement. Hopefully Kim will text message her calling her a "low budget bitch." Oh how I miss them all.

Click here to read the details of the current divorce agreement.

Thanks, Siobhan, for the info!

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The Real Housewives of New York City: The Band is Back Together!

The New York premiere of "Bride Wars" really brought out all the A-listers the other night. There were many celebrities there, but that's pretty boring. The Real Housewives of New York City also stopped by the blue carpet and it made me long for them. Of course crazy ass LuAnn Delesepps was there (minus her alleged coke and whoring), as was creepy Simon, his fire faced beard and Alex McCord who seemed to have dyed her hair to match the drapes of everyone in the family. Finally, the house favorite, Ramona Singer, had a little alone time on the carpet whilst her fellow castmates tried their best not to laugh directly at her.

If there could be a Housewives Allstar team I would choose: Romona Singer, Nene Leakes, Kim Zolciak, She By Sheree, and Vicki (in which I would sometimes substitute out for Jill Zarin). This would be the Olympic Dream Team.

I'm a tool.

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Kim's Wig Must Be Squealing With Delight! NeNe Gets Booted From Her House.

NeNe must have thought she only owed $29, but she really owed like $89. According to AccessAtlanta NeNe Leakes and her husband Greg have gotten the boot from the house that they were living in while filming the Real HOusewives of Atlanta. The broker for the home claims that NeNe and crew moved out in November after they were served an eviction notice in September for failing to pay $6240 in past due rent.

But don't start spreading rumors that NeNe is broke! She was emailing sassified responses about where she lives now, such as:

"It's none of your business." NeNe continued to say that they "are financial able and stable to live wherever we feel fits." Yes she said "fits."

Uh oh! This isn't sounding to good for NeNe. She better start looking to date and marry some famous ath-uh-lete or she won't be able to live the fab-uh-lous life any longer.

Read the Rest Here

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Real HOusewives of Atlanta: Season Finale. What We've Learned.

Check Out Previews from the Reunion Show

How's the season over when I feel like I just started watching this Atlanta hurricane of horror? We learned a lot this episode and I'm smarter because of it.

• We learned that Kim continues her rein of terror on the suit jacket.
• We learned that Kim thinks that NeNe is a drag queen. This is coming from the woman who is wearing a Bratz doll wig and a mans suit jacket.
• We learned that Kim actually asked Sheree and Lisa if NeNe was black.
• We learned that DeShawn plays basketball with her husband in a yellow club shirt, jeans, and big earrings. Also, with her husband retiring "due to injury" from the NBA she fears not being in the limelight anymore. Perhaps she hasn't noticed that she's on a show called "The Real Housewives of Atlanta" and as she's saying these words there are cameras filming her, a boom-mic operator, lights, and producers surrounding her. Maybe that's not "limelight" enough for Shawny.
• We learned that when Dallas Austin calls Kim and tells her that she needs to start Country Singer Bootcamp, Kim's nanny, Mia, must think someone is calling to kill Kim because she looks concerned for her life.
• We learned that Kim is visibly nervous about quitting smoking and drinking and having to run everyday, but then immediately tells Dallas Austin that her kids aren't going to stop her from her dream. She's sweet like that. Maybe give the kids the cigarettes and White Zinfandel. You know, keep it in the family.
• We learned that NeNe is writing a letter to her "father" Curtis because apparently people still mail actual letters to people. Can't she just email Curtis? I bet his email address is CurtisIsNotTheFatherOfNeNE_2008@aol.com.
• We learned that Lisa doesn't want to her husband to be in a wheel chair because she wants to grow old with him and not have to push him around in a wheelchair. Yes, that conversation is actually taking place.
• We learned that the dude from Project Runway calls out Sheree for not picking out her own fabrics and basically being hands-on with her horrific clothing line called "She By Sheree." It should be called "She of Sheree." That way we could call it "SOS" for short.
• We learned that Kim is officially quitting smoking and, in turn, her daughters will stop sleeping in her bed with her. Scary. Her oldest daughter is 11. So Kim sleeps with her two daughters and her wig? Isn't that a fire hazard?
• We learn that Kim thinks that her voice is "a God given talent." I begin to question God.
• We learn that Sheree can have all the money and "class" in the world, but she still pronounces "ask" as "axe."
• We learn that NeNe continues to bring the laughs by telling Lisa and Sheree that she doesn't want to have to take a picture with those bitches whilst at Lisa's husband's "Surprise You're Being Shipped to Oakland" party.
• We learn that if you're graduating from high school and your mom, NeNe, is taking you to the car dealership your best bet is to show up to the car dealership still wearing your graduation cap and gown because, you know, that makes sense.
• We learn that Sheree has actual children, which chills me to the bone. These kids are smart and get all "A's" or "SherrA's" on their report card and receive money and a trip for doing so.
• We learn that the end of the episode dinner that Lisa has for everyone is completely awkward to watch. At one point I'm pretty sure I hear crickets. I assume the crickets are coming from Kim's wig and I just move on from the moment.
• We learn that NeNe tries to talk to Kim and Sheree about what happened and they just stare at her.
• We learn that Kim doesn't want her kids hearing NeNe yell at her, but somehow she seems to be ok with her kids listening to her sing. Isn't that worse?
• We learn that Greg, NeNe's husband, is the voice of reason and is far classier than any of the people at the table.
• We learn that, at the end of the day, Kim realizes that she should have talked to NeNe about what bothered her a month ago. They kind of "squash" the fight, but from the looks of the Reunion Show next week everyone hates each other even more.

Wanna see what Kim looked like in 2003? Click Here to Check out Vintage Kim

Wanns see preview clips from the Renunion show? Check Out Previews from the Reunion Show

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Real Housewives of Atlanta Reunion Preview. Kim and NeNe Fight It Out Like They're on the Set of Maury. Sidenote: Curtis, You are Not the Father.

Whilst IBBB will be recapping the ever loving piss out of the Real Housewives of Atlanta reunion once it airs, here's a little clippy clip of some of the smackdown between Lisa and Kim and then NeNe and Kim. At one point I'm pretty sure that NeNe talks about Kim's weave, which really isn't nice to say. She should have said "wig." Wig. Not weave. Wig.

Later, NeNe tells Kim that she'll see her outside. My money is on NeNe and by "money" I really mean "citizenship."

How come no one is wearing "She by Sheree" on the set? Rude!

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Kim from Real Housewives and IBBB are OVER!

Are the kids still saying "dunzo?" Anywig, IBBB has some sad news to report. I had befriended crazy-ass Kim from Real Housewives of Atlanta on Myspace and after some email correspondence Kim agreed to be interviewed for this brilliant blog. I actually told her that I couldn't get enough of her constant drinking and smoking and she thanked me for my encouragement.

Well, then Kimmy Pants read IBBB and decided against the interview and even removed me as her "friend." Drat! Damn it all to hell! So what I may have made some wig jokes, Heidi Montag jokes, singing jokes, and white-trash jokes about Kim on IBBB? Please, if this site was "The Soup" she'd be eating it up.

Oh well. No fun interview with Kim, you guys. I will try to pick up the shattered pieces of my life and continue on. Either way she's still one of my favorites on Housewives, but now NeNe has just edged her way to my #1 spot.

Best wishes, Kim, with that singing career. I'll tip my White Zin back for ya when you make it to the top of the charts!

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Real Housewives of Atltanta Recap: What the Christ is a Sunset BBQ?

Before we even get into last nights episode, I have a question. Uh, why do they all make it seem like Atlanta is a different country. Sheree is always like, "The people of Atlanta look up to me for my fashion sense." Kim always states that having money and connections gives you power for anything you want in Atlanta. They do know Atlanta is still part of the United States, right? Wait, it is....isn't it? Perhaps something has changed. I'm not great in Social Studies.

• Anyathuhlete, this crapisode was a little disappointing to me as Kim was hardly in it. What a jip! Although they did kick it off with Kim, Sheree, and Kim's random friend (that wasn't pretty enough to make the actual Housewives cast) going on a boat trip. Of course no boat trip is complete without Kim's white-trash glass of White Zinfandel and pack of Newport's. Ahhhh, sun, fresh air, booze, and cancer sticks. What a treat. Once Fatty McBoat-Driver starts to gun it on the water Kim hits the f'n deck. She knows even the slightest wind will blow that horrific wig right off her head. She's smart enough to crouch down to protect the priceless wig all whilst still taking a drag from her Newport's and not spilling a drop of wine. Bravo, Kim, bravo (not the channel)
  
• All the girls are chit-chatting on a deserted island about "Big Poppa/Papa" and how no one really knows who he is. Screw NeNe's father, can someone give a DNA test to Kim's mystery boyfriend? I've had people email me that Big Poppa is Frankie Delgado's father from The Hills, as well as most recently Quincy Jones. I'm sticking with my first guess, which was John Goodman.
  
• Later we get to see Sheree work hard on her new "fashion line" called "She Sheree." Wow, looks terrible. How come when Sheree talks it sounds like she says 5 words really fast and then slows down and then says another 5 words really fast and then slows down. It's kinda like this: Myfashionlineisvery important. ItseveryhthingIvealways wanted. Take a breath, trash.
  
• Meanwhile, NeNe is having her big hat brunch. Look, I like NeNe. I do. She and Kim are the only reasons to watch this crapfest. However, when NeNe was giving her speech about being in an abusive relationship I don't think it was as dramatic as she thought it was going to be. There were no tears and she just kept repeating the same thing "look at me now!" I know a few women that would take a punch if it meant that years later they'd have their own television show. Was that insensitive?
  
• Sidenote, how funny was it that NeNe went to a place called "Any Test" to get her DNA test? Personally I think it should have been called the "Who's Your Daddy Store" but that's just me. Perhaps you would have named it something different.
  
• The rest of the crapisode centers around DeShawn's "sunset bbq." Why is she calling it a sunset bbq and why won't she stop saying "sunset bbq?" I never want to hear that term again. Speaking of things I never wanna hear again....I'm sick of hearing Lisa switch back and forth from Asian to black. Pick something and stick with it. No substitutions.
  
• Sheree's fashion designs are simply ruined and they are not "fab-u-lus" and with fashions like that she aint gonna score herself any kind of "ath-uh-lete." It is comical, however, that Kim was saying how bad the clothes looked. This is coming from a "29" year old woman who's wearing a stripper wig and wearing clothes that look like you throw them away after you wear them once....all whilst smoking and drinking.
  
• Meanwhile back at the "sunset bbq" Kim and Shree were no-shows. Sheree couldn't go because her clothes for the fashion show sucked. Oh, and Kim didn't go because she didn't want to go and eat chicken with NeNe. I'm fine with that. I've definitely canceled plans with people over not wanting to eat chicken with them, so I totally know where Kim is coming from.
  
• By the end of the episode we find out that Lisa's husband will be playing for the Oakland Raiders and NeNe's "father" Curtis is not actually her father. I'm not sure how sad one can be when they find out their dad (who they don't call "dad") is not actually their dad. Oh! How AWESOME would it be if somehow Big Poppa was actually NeNe's dad and Kim ended up being NeNe's stepmother! Oh please let that happen. If this was The Hills you know they'd be adding that to the script as we speak.

You crackheads still watching this? What did you think of this episode? Anyone wanna invite me to their "sunset bbq" to eat chicken? Discuss.

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Real Housewives of Atlanta: Kim Sings, I Die More Inside

Sure I'm a little late on my thoughts on this weeks episode of Real Housewives of Atlanta, but I've been busy sitting down and stuff. Anyway, I almost want to get rid of everyone else on Real Housewives, except Kim and Nene. Ok, maybe Sheree can stay, but only because she's the Claire Huxtable of the show.

This week we got to watch the multi-talented Kim perform for us. And by "multi-talented" I am, of course, referring to her magical ability to both smoke, drink, sing, and keep her wig from falling off her head while performing these difficult tasks. Listening to Kim sing in front of her voice coach is like listening to a political conversation between 2 homeless people. You can stand there and try to listen, but all you can really hear is their teeth literally falling out of their mouths. Anyone?

Does anyone want to join me in the intervention I'm currently planning for Kim? Sign up now, please. Kim is barely in a scene without her glass of white-trash white zinfandel. She might as well just pour that shit in a clear plastic cup. At one point I'm pretty sure I saw Kim sitting in her car and drinking and then later just leaving the lingerie store with her infamous glass.

Meanwhile, speaking of drunks, Nene gets three sheets to the wind and sings a beautiful song about Kim whilst in the limo with her and her friends. They're all laughing, but later condemn Nene for the song and pretend they didn't know it was about Kim. When Nene sang that "she says she's 29, but she looks 89...." that didn't give it away?

Later, Kim hits the recording studio with Dallas Austin (which I just realized are two places in Texas....thanks 5th grade Social Studies class!!), but not before she puts on an actual white top hot because, you know, that helps the voice. Kim starts belting out a song that was originally written for Cher and when she hears the playback of her song, her eyes start to fill up. My eyes were filling up to, but mainly because when I was pouring bleach into my ears some of it spilled into my eyes.

Before the episode ends, Sheree and Kim head out to lunch and, to no surprise, are also drinking. Kim lets Sherre know that she's beautiful about 15 times because somehow being attractive equates to being a good person....in Kim's eyes. Dallas Austin shows up to discuss Kim's vocal coach and at one point I'm pretty sure that Kim said she asked her how to spell "cat" to which Kim literally responded, "K-A-T." Wow. Good luck to the children of Kim.

All the girls decide to turn their fat backs on Nene, but Kim was the worst and text messaged her "bon voyage" message to Nene calling her a "low budget bitch." Wow. Well. Isn't that the white trash pot calling the animated kettle black!

What did you crackheads think of the most recent episode? Discuss.

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Dear Heidi, Welcome to Your Future!

Dear Heidi,

Welcome to your future! Meet it. Its name is Kim Zolciak. It's on Real Housewives of Atlanta. This shall be you. Best wishes!

Signed,

Fate

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So Anyone Watching The Real Housewives of Atlanta?

I don't care, I'll admit it. I may or may not have seen an episode or two of The Real Housewives of Atlanta. I'm fine with it. I mean, to me this is like a remake of my old favorite 80's sitcom 227, so I was looking forward to it.

I have two favorites already. One, of course, is NeNe Leakes. You know how in between scenes they show the "show stars" posing with their family or something? Yeah, well NeNe does "air z-snaps." I was hooked. My other favorite, of course, is Kim. No idea what her last name is and it doesn't matter. She's the white one. Actually, scratch that. She's the white one who pretty much looks like she does $2 dollar sucky sucky on the streets of Atlanta. Oh, and she wears what I will now refer to as a "Whores Wig." Isn't she rich? Can't she afford a better haircut? Even in Britney's "crazy days" when she was wearing all sorts of fright-wigs she still looked classier than Kim.

I do love Kim though. She's trying to be a country singer, but I'm pretty sure she's originally form Jersey. Oh, and she drinks and smokes in almost every scene she's in. She's a delight.

Anyrot, NeNe has recently said in an interview that she wants her own reality show, wants to be an actress, and would like to be "the black Lucille Ball." No really, she said that. Well good luck to her.

Anyone out there watching? Discuss.

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Alex McCord Looks, Almost, Life Like

I love when I see photos of people and then try to figure out why I know them and then realize I don't know them at all. Good story Moving on, Alex McCord of the Real Housewives of New York City, was taking in some of the fashion festivities at Bryant Park in NYC.

Where in the hell was Francois and Alex's creeptastic husband? The red color in her hair is really making her Lollipop Head Syndrome pop!

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