Real HOusewives of Atlanta: Season Finale. What We've Learned.

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How's the season over when I feel like I just started watching this Atlanta hurricane of horror? We learned a lot this episode and I'm smarter because of it.

• We learned that Kim continues her rein of terror on the suit jacket.
• We learned that Kim thinks that NeNe is a drag queen. This is coming from the woman who is wearing a Bratz doll wig and a mans suit jacket.
• We learned that Kim actually asked Sheree and Lisa if NeNe was black.
• We learned that DeShawn plays basketball with her husband in a yellow club shirt, jeans, and big earrings. Also, with her husband retiring "due to injury" from the NBA she fears not being in the limelight anymore. Perhaps she hasn't noticed that she's on a show called "The Real Housewives of Atlanta" and as she's saying these words there are cameras filming her, a boom-mic operator, lights, and producers surrounding her. Maybe that's not "limelight" enough for Shawny.
• We learned that when Dallas Austin calls Kim and tells her that she needs to start Country Singer Bootcamp, Kim's nanny, Mia, must think someone is calling to kill Kim because she looks concerned for her life.
• We learned that Kim is visibly nervous about quitting smoking and drinking and having to run everyday, but then immediately tells Dallas Austin that her kids aren't going to stop her from her dream. She's sweet like that. Maybe give the kids the cigarettes and White Zinfandel. You know, keep it in the family.
• We learned that NeNe is writing a letter to her "father" Curtis because apparently people still mail actual letters to people. Can't she just email Curtis? I bet his email address is CurtisIsNotTheFatherOfNeNE_2008@aol.com.
• We learned that Lisa doesn't want to her husband to be in a wheel chair because she wants to grow old with him and not have to push him around in a wheelchair. Yes, that conversation is actually taking place.
• We learned that the dude from Project Runway calls out Sheree for not picking out her own fabrics and basically being hands-on with her horrific clothing line called "She By Sheree." It should be called "She of Sheree." That way we could call it "SOS" for short.
• We learned that Kim is officially quitting smoking and, in turn, her daughters will stop sleeping in her bed with her. Scary. Her oldest daughter is 11. So Kim sleeps with her two daughters and her wig? Isn't that a fire hazard?
• We learn that Kim thinks that her voice is "a God given talent." I begin to question God.
• We learn that Sheree can have all the money and "class" in the world, but she still pronounces "ask" as "axe."
• We learn that NeNe continues to bring the laughs by telling Lisa and Sheree that she doesn't want to have to take a picture with those bitches whilst at Lisa's husband's "Surprise You're Being Shipped to Oakland" party.
• We learn that if you're graduating from high school and your mom, NeNe, is taking you to the car dealership your best bet is to show up to the car dealership still wearing your graduation cap and gown because, you know, that makes sense.
• We learn that Sheree has actual children, which chills me to the bone. These kids are smart and get all "A's" or "SherrA's" on their report card and receive money and a trip for doing so.
• We learn that the end of the episode dinner that Lisa has for everyone is completely awkward to watch. At one point I'm pretty sure I hear crickets. I assume the crickets are coming from Kim's wig and I just move on from the moment.
• We learn that NeNe tries to talk to Kim and Sheree about what happened and they just stare at her.
• We learn that Kim doesn't want her kids hearing NeNe yell at her, but somehow she seems to be ok with her kids listening to her sing. Isn't that worse?
• We learn that Greg, NeNe's husband, is the voice of reason and is far classier than any of the people at the table.
• We learn that, at the end of the day, Kim realizes that she should have talked to NeNe about what bothered her a month ago. They kind of "squash" the fight, but from the looks of the Reunion Show next week everyone hates each other even more.

Wanna see what Kim looked like in 2003? Click Here to Check out Vintage Kim

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