The City Recap: The Editing Machine is Already Broken. Plus, I Still Want to Play Dirty Games with Olivia.

Yes, my photoshopping skill level has officially hit "tilt." Well the moment we've all been waiting for is finally upon us. Nope, not world peace. I'm talking about the season premiere of The City. Within the first few minutes we really get to learn a lot about how this season will go.First off, The...

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Merry Christmas. Yeah, I Said It. Christmas.

IBBB would like to wish all of you a very safe, happy, and drunken Christmas. If you're reading this today you are probably not celebrating Christmas and, if so, good luck in hell. For those of you who aren't celebrating Christmas, Christmas is a special day in which Mother Mary and Joseph (who was...

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The Hills Season Finale: This Episode Has More Tears Than Audrina's Hoo-Ha After a Drunken Night in Palm Springs w/ Justin Bobby. Did I Cross a Line?

Wow. Season 4. Yup. Yeah, so. Er....uh. Hmmm. Yow. Eesh. Yuckeroo. Sorta at a loss for words. Lives were saved. Conflicts in the Middle East, resolved. Diseases cured. That'll wrap up the entire 4th season. In what is the last The Hills Recap from IBBB of Season 4, let us dry our drunken eyes and come...

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...In Other News...

~ Get Your Celebrity Scientology Updates! ~ ABH~ What Happened to Aguilera?? ~ Websters~ Read This for a Good Cause! ~ CS~ Flaunt Magazine Round Up ~ Ayyyy~ Get Your Winehouse Rack! ~ POTP~ How Old is Katie Holmes? 42? 55? ~ FB~ Who Has Rodent Mouth? ~ IDWYL~ Kendra Wilkinson, Ready for the White House ~ BSwww.myspace.com/ImBringingBloggingBack...

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Douche Bags! They're Just Like Us!

I've always wondered what it would be like to write creepy comic-strip jokes in the Sunday paper. A normal Sunday paper would never hire me, so I've decided to write my own "Hills Comic Strip." Clearly I have a knack for cheesy jokes and, well, Heidi and Steve Sanders basically write this crap themselves....

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I Remember When This Totally Did the Trick

IBBB remembers the days when Pam Anderson could do no wrong. I was a sophomore in high school and Baywatch was the closest thing to free porn one could find. Ah simpler days. Better times. Bad acne. I remember it well.Well times they are a-changin'. Pam, as you all know, has hit the wall. Then she...

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Why Hello There, Winter Weather!

Dear Mr. Snowstorm,Hey there how are you? Yeah, I'm ok thanks for asking. I'm a little aggravated, actually. What is it about your snow that makes people act insane? No really, I'd like to know. Sure there's some white fluffy stuff, similar to cotton balls, falling from the sky but what is it about...

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12 Days of a Harriet Carter Christmas: On the 12th Day of Christmas...

On the 12th Day of Christmas, my white-trash love gave to me 12 Windshield Smashers,~ 11 Santa Toilets~ 10 Colonial Drivers, ~ 9 Dead Nana's, ~ 8 Santa Blowers, ~ 7 Ornament Hookers, ~ 6 Crappy Church Jokes, ~ 5 Instant Christmas Tree Wall Stickers, ~ 4 "Diva Las Vegas" Whorebears, ~ 3 Magnetic Eyeglass...

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...In Other News...

Well look what the Brenda Walsh dragged in. Brenda was out looking to catch Kelly and Dylan in the act at the 10th Anniversary of Flaunt Magazine. In other news...~ Mmmmm Cheeseburger Cologne! ~ ABH~ I Hope Santa Craps in Heidi and Spencer's Stocking ~ Websters~ Buy Scar Jo's Nasty Snot Rags ~ CS~...

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Lollipops and Gummi Bears are My Favorite Treat....

Me gusta all things Full House. I also "gusta" when IBBB readers basically do my job for me. It helps on days in which I am both hungover and not hungover. So let's mix both of those things together and watch my favorite sister and yours, DJ Tanner sing "Lollipops and Gummi Bears are My Favorite Treat"...

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This Time Last Year: Terri Irwin Almost Cameltoe

Happy Friday. Let's take a look into what IBBB was blogging about this time last year....Ah Terri Irwin. Terri, Terri, Terri. What's going on? You good? Similar to a school boy trying to hide an "issue" with his math book, Terri is hiding a bit of her jungle outback cameltoe. Sure the jungle and the...

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12 Days of a Harriet Carter Christmas: On the 11th Day of Christmas....

On the 11th Day of Christmas my white-trash love gave to me, 11 Santa Toilets, 10 Colonial Drivers, 9 Dead Nana's, 8 Santa Blowers, 7 Ornament Hookers, 6 Crappy Church Jokes, 5 Instant Christmas Tree Wall Stickers, 4 "Diva Las Vegas" Whorebears, 3 Magnetic Eyeglass Holders, 2 Pussy Ticklers, and a Failure...

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Eck! How Drunk is Suri!

Seriously, what a mess! I mean, how drunk is Suri!? Tom Cruise may be all over the place promoting the ever loving piss out of his new movie, "Hitler Was Just Misunderstood" but he should be tackling some family issues, stat. These family issues are, of course, Suri being a fall down drunk. Look at...

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Who Will Get Custody of Mr. Bear?

Oh Sweetin. Oh my little Sweetin. My little Sweetin, poor Sweetin, I'd love to brush that meth out of your hair.Jodie Sweetin is totally trying to ruin my dream of her getting her own reality show and/or taking part in a future Full House reunion. Poor Stephanie Tanner is not allowed to see her 8-month...

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12 Days of a Harriet Carter Christmas: On the 10th Day of Christmas...

On the 10th Day of Christmas, my white-trash love gave to me 10 Colonial Drivers, 9 Dead Nana's, 8 Santa Blowers, 7 Ornament Hookers, 6 Crappy Church Jokes, 5 Instant Christmas Tree Wall Stickers, 4 "Diva Las Vegas" Whorebears, 3 Magnetic Eyeglass Holders, 2 Pussy Ticklers, and a Failure Model Chick...

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...In Other News...

~ What the Hell is Happening in Australia?? ~ ABH~ Even More Hills Fakery ~ Websters~ Who is Time Magazine's Person of the Year? ~ CS~ Who's Willing to Kill Winehouse's Dealer? ~ FB~ Which Celebrity Looks Like a Drunk Fighter? ~ Ayyyy~ Ain't No Party Like a Diddy Party ~ POTP~ Kristin Cavallari to Do Porny Pornerson? ~ IDWYL~ Lohan's See-Thru Pants!...

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Is Drew Carey Dead Inside?

On the Price is Right, this old dude not only one his Showcase Showdown, but he also won the other chicks Showcase Showdown because he guessed the price of his prizes exactly right. Down to the last dollar! Seriously, who does that? Drew Carey reacts like this guy only won a year supply of Rice-A-Roni (the San Francisco treat). This begs the question,...

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Fun With Lindsay Lohan's Myspace Blog: Happy HOliday's Edition!

To freshen up the stale stank around here, IBBB is bringing back a new segment tentatively titled, "Fun With Lindsay Lohan's Myspace Blog!" Catchy. When Lindsay No Pants blogs on her Myspace account people not only listen and comment, but all the freaks come out of the woodwork. The other day Lindsay...

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You Take the Good, You Take the Bad....then You Mix it Together and Get Mindy Cohn.....the Fact's of Life....the Fact's of Life....

People may want to quickly make fun of Mindy Cohn for packing on the pounds, but don't bother. She's fine with it. If you all recall (that rhymed), when Mindy was playing Natalie Green, she once brilliantly said, "Who wants to be a skinny pencil. I'm happy being a magic marker!" I'm sure Blair was...

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The Hills Season Finale Preview. Yeah That's Right, I'm Posting It.

It must be me just getting a little nostalgic that The Hills is coming to an end so I feel the need to cram in all things "Hills" related before the season finale. Hopefully you will all stick with me even whilst The Hills is off the air, but mostly because you know I'll be recapping the piss out of The City. See? You're all trapped like rats now!Anyfinale,...

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Any Chance This Was the Dress Lauren Conrad Wanted To Be Buried In, According to Her Will?

Lauren Conrad, dressed like she's going to the funeral of Spencer Pratt, was all smiles while attending the Dolce & Gabana opening night benefit for the Art Elysium. I don't really care what any of that means. Point being, LC looks like a widow. I forgot to mention this during yesterday's Hills...

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12 Days of a Harriet Carter Christmas: On the 9th Day of Christmas...

On the 9th Day of Christmas, my white-trash love gave to me, 9 Dead Nana's, 8 Santa Blowers, 7 Ornament Hookers, 6 Crappy Church Jokes, 5 Instant Christmas Tree Wall Stickers, 4 "Diva Las Vegas" Whorebears, 3 Magnetic Eyeglass Holders, 2 Pussy Ticklers, and a Failure Model Chick in a pear tree!On the...

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Get Ready for the Layup Joke of the Day....

Heading out to LAX yesterday, Samantha Ronson gets ready to show Lindsay Lohan her box.Stop me if you heard this before! Tip your waitress!www.myspace.com/ImBringingBloggingB...

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The Hills Recap: Heidi and Spencer Get Married in Mexico Right After Heidi Gets Faux-Drunk and Says Every Stereotypical Spanish Word She Knows. Ole!

Well folks, we are down to just one more Hills episode of the season after this one. I'm not going to lie, I kinda feel like I'm getting out of prison next week. Of course, after prison I do have 100 hours of community service I must fulfill which consists of me recapping "The City" but at least I'm...

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12 Days of a Harriet Carter Christmas: On the 8th Day of Christmas....

On the 8th Day of Christmas, my white-trash love gave to me 8 Santa Blowers, 7 Ornament Hookers, 6 Crappy Church Jokes, 5 Instant Christmas Tree Wall Stickers, 4 "Diva Las Vegas" Whorebears, 3 Magnetic Eyeglass Holders, 2 Pussy Ticklers, and a Failure Model Chick in a pear tree!On the 8th Day of Christmas:...

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...In Other News...

We get it, Katy Perry. We get it. We do. No more is needed. In other news...~ Diddy is a Girl Genius! ~ ABH~ I Always Thought Tara Reid was Just Misunderstood ~ Websters~ Does Sharon Osbourne Need Charm School? ~ CS~ Celebrity Santa Puzzle ~ Ayyyy~ Lauren and Lo. That's All. ~ POTP~ Kim Kardashian...

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DJ Tanner is FINALLY Ready for Kathy Santone's Pool Party!

I'm not sure what's going on, but I'm pretty sure that all the work that I've been putting into practicing all the rules of the book "The Secret" are finally paying off because all things "Full House" are starting to manifest its way back into my life. Praise "The Secret!"Candace Cameron (aka Donna...

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Marisa Miller is the Way Your Monday Should Start...or Your Saturday Night Should End. Either Way, Enjoy.

Me gusta Marisa Miller. I would please like more of Marisa Miller. If there's a way we can somehow add her to The Hills and or a Harriet Carter catalog, my life would be complete. I mean, I still wouldn't have any morals or values, but it would be complete.Marisa Miller was all hot smiles and wonderfully...

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