12 Days of a Harriet Carter Christmas: On the 3rd Day of Christmas....

On the 3rd day of Christmas, my white-trash love gave to me, 3 Magnetic Eyeglass Holders....2 Pussy Ticklers, and a Failure Model Chick in a pear tree.....

On the 3rd Day of Christmas: Just what every bitchy businesswoman needs...a magnetic eyeglass holder because, you know, just holding on to your eyeglasses like a normal grown up adult is clearly too much to ask. And why in the hell is this Nicole-Richie-look-alike-mother-f'er so pissed off? Is it because she has Bugs Bunny's Acme magnet floating by her head or that fact that she has Sally Jesse Raphael glasses pinned to her rack? I mean, the possibilities are endless. I guess it makes sense, a little, that she doesn't want to store her glasses on top of head because you totally don't want to take away from the bangs that went out of style 2 days after Tyra Banks had them.....3 years ago. And why do they feel the need to show us the magnet? Do they think we have no clue how the "brilliant science" of this product works? What happens to the glasses when this skank rips off her "sport coat" so that she can have filthy "bam bam" with her personal assistant on the cherry-finished wooden conference room table? They are most likely to get crushed. That's what happens. Well that's what happens to skanky business women. There you have it. Ho-ho-Yes!

...and a Failure Model Chick in a pear treeeeeeeee!

Be sure to check back tomorrow for the 4th Day of a Harriet Carter Christmas. My gift to you. No returns, exchanges, or credits allowed.

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